"Tear off the mask. Your face is glorious." ― Rumi
Introduction | Self-Worth Exploration | Reimagining Self-Image & Self-Ideal | Building True Self-Esteem | The Role of Self-Concept | Practices | Final Thoughts | Takeaway Points | References | Disclaimer
Introduction
From birth, each individual passes through various stages of life in his journey of self-discovery. A baby feels an intense unity with the mother and lacks definite ego boundaries; in other words, a child does not distinguish the world from himself but considers it to be mere extensions of self. This would be the primal unity of an individual—the undifferentiated, unblemished-by-individual-identity self. As the child grows, it starts realizing itself as an entity different from others; it learns to walk, speak, and interact with the environment. It is also the birth of the ego, with which the individual becomes all the more aware of the self as a distinct identity different from others. The ego subsequently starts forming its identity by interacting with the external world and slowly develops attachment to its roles, possessions, and relationships.
The ego is naturally dualistic, feeding off successes for pleasure and failures for pain in a complex web of self-perception and identification with factors other than the self.
To truly find the real self, however, one needs to go beyond these egoic layers. The ego creates superficial identities that keep a deeper, more authentic self behind those layers. The spiritual journey beckons us to reconnect with this true self, showing us our inherent divinity, unity with the universe, and resultant peace associated with such self-realization. We go beyond the constructs of the ego into embracing the fullness of our true being through spiritual practices and insights.
Self-worth exploration
Spiritual self-worth surpasses the erratic level of reliance existing in materialistic achievements and possessions. In the field of material life, self-esteem often ebbs and flows with success or failure—or comparisons with others—in the spiritual world, it is far more anchored. Most spiritual traditions consider self-worth as an intrinsic quality unharmed by life achievements.
For instance, Buddhism has the concept of "Buddha Nature," in which it teaches all beings possess inherent value and the potential for enlightenment. Buddha Nature is an intrinsic quality possessed by every being, irrespective of his or her apparent conditions, that has to be developed by a proper awakening through mindfulness and right living [1][11]. Along this line, in Christian mysticism, the intrinsic value of the soul is put forward as an expression of the divine. Being made "in the image of God" puts a dignity and worth on humans that cannot be taken away by outside failures.[2]
Positive psychology again confirms this knowledge by showing that individuals who develop an affiliation with something larger than the self—through spirituality, purpose, or meaning—report more well-being and resilience [3]. This spiritual perspective allows us to build a resilient sense of self-worth that we are able to integrate. Rather than this fragile self-worth, harnessed to unstable external accomplishments or material goods, the spiritually anchored self provides a stable platform on which such shifts are less unnerving.
Reimagining self-image and self-ideal
Self-image and self-ideal refer to the different manners in which we perceive ourselves. Psychologically, self-image denotes how we perceive ourselves at present, while self-ideal is the person we want to be. The distance between the two often makes the big difference in our self-esteem and our feelings of gratification regarding our life. For instance, a person whose self-image falls way out of his self-ideal may show feelings of insufficiency or uncertainty.
Spiritual teachings relate self-image to ego, which is defined by external markers such as success, looks, and social role. In this sense, the spiritual journey invites us to release these outward attachments and recognize that these things are not who we really are. We should not base our self-image on transient markers but instead cultivate self-image founded on deeper levels. To this effect, the self-ideal is transformed from an external set of standards being imposed on an individual to an internal alignment with qualities such as compassion, wisdom, and inner peace. For example, in the Bhagavad Gita, Krishna reminds Arjuna to release his egoistic attachments with the warrior role and attach to his eternal self, Atman [4]. It was a radical change of self-image from one anchored in external roles to one based on spiritual truth. Similarly, Sufi mysticism holds that the ideal self should reflect the qualities of divine love and mercy rather than material aspiration issuing from the ego.[5]
Integration of self-image and self-ideal as reflections of inner spiritual qualities helps in trying to bridge the gap between psychological dissatisfaction and spiritual fulfillment. This is a better alignment that places our current self-view along with the aspirational self in harmony.
Building true self-esteem
Self-esteem has almost always been regarded as an emotional repercussion of the way we measure our self-worth and self-image. In psychological terminology, it would be a place where self-esteem usually emerges from building a self-image not too different from the self-ideal and from holding a realistic and positive view of the self. However, from a spiritual viewpoint, self-esteem has less to do with external acceptance than with self-acceptance and inner alignment.
We develop true self-esteem from a spiritual perspective when we are able to recognize just how much value we intrinsically have as manifestations of the divine or universal consciousness. With a more profound connection to the self, which is spiritually promoted through practices like mindfulness, meditation, and prayer, we can experience inner peace and stability regardless of the happenings around us. It is this inner connectedness that might stabilize our self-esteem onto a relatively stable ground, rather than relying on ever-changing conditions of the outside world.
Evidence does support that mindfulness and meditation tend to enhance self-esteem as individuals learn to build a better relationship with themselves. Constant practice of these activities helps the individual to become more caring and accepting of life when dealing with one's self and hence acts to boost emotional resilience, translating to very stable self-esteem[6]. Spiritual self-acceptance in practicing self-esteem also aims at the need to feel acceptance internally rather than using external success. This approach promotes a deeper, more enduring sense of self-worth.
The role of self-concept
The self-concept encompasses our beliefs and ideas about who we are. It is the summation of how we define ourselves, which is influenced by experiences, culture, and personal identity. In psychology, the development of a good balance in self-concept is essential to sustaining psychological health and coping with daily life. A strong, positive self-concept gives us the confidence to make decisions, achieve goals, and establish healthy relationships.
From a spiritual perspective, however, the self-concept is usually considered a limitation because, in an important way, it is all about the ego. Most spiritual traditions believe that the self-concept—either useful or not in dealing with the physical world—prevents us from knowing our true nature. The ego clings to inflexible self-definitions—usually based on cultural or social expectations—which narrow our capabilities of viewing ourselves as we really are. Taoism, Vedanta, and many other aspects of spiritual traditions essentially teach that our real self is beyond the egoistic concept of self and goes interrelatedly with all existence.
For example, the Tao Te Ching speaks about letting go of the tight notion of the self by the fluidity of the true self[8], whereas in Hinduism, "Maya" was described as the deception of ego and personal identity when, in fact, the real self was unchanging Atman[9]. From this spiritual perspective on self-concept, it allows us to transcend limitation, eclipse ego-based identities into an expanded perception of the real nature, hence creating a deeper sense of connectedness and spiritual awareness.
Practices for discovering the true self
Several spiritual practices enable one to take a trip into the discovery of the true self:
Meditation: Meditation is among the effective tools that exist for quieting the mind and connecting one with his true self. Regular practice in meditation assists in silencing the egoic mind and allows the mind to enter deeper levels of awareness. Techniques range from mindfulness to transcendental meditation, and the effect of it all is to create awareness of the self beyond egoistic thought, reconnecting us to inner peace and wisdom[6].
Self-inquiry: Popularized by spiritual teacher Ramana Maharshi, self-inquiry is the practice of asking, "Who am I?" This technique invites us to see beyond the egoic mind by enquiring into deeper realities of our self. As we ask questions from ourselves many times about all that is perceived, the ego is slowly left behind, and what remains is the real entity that is beyond the ego[7].
Contemplation of spiritual texts: Spiritual texts like the Bhagavad Gita, the Tao Te Ching, or the Upanishads offer deep insights into the nature of the self and ways to align with one's true nature. These texts remind one that one's true being is not derived from external roles or even accomplishments but in deeper spiritual levels of being[4][8][9].
Living with virtues: When we align our thoughts, words, and actions with the key spiritual values of compassion, integrity, and humility, we are in greater alignment with our Soul Self. Living virtuously creates inner peace, fulfillment, and even connection with others. By living these virtues, we exude the qualities of the divine or universal consciousness, enabling our true selves to shine through in our actions[10].
By integrating this practice into our lives, we are better able to discover and align ourselves with the Self beyond the limitations of the ego and find more spiritual fulfillment.
Final Thoughts
It is the journey of realization—transcending the egoistic layers to connect with our deeper self. Whereas psychological practices help us build a stable sense of self, spiritual practices help us move beyond these egoic constructs and align with our true nature. This can be a truly transformative path that may end suffering, create inner peace, self-realization, and connect to the deeper world around us.
The pathway to the true self is not linear but is one of constant unfolding. As we peel back the layers of ego, we begin to experience boundless joy, love, and wisdom at the core of our being. By embracing this journey, we realize our true selves are not confined by whims but are an expression of infinite, interwoven life.
Takeaway Points
Transcending ego: The path to discovering the true self involves going beyond all ego-based identities and attuning to deeper spiritual realities.
Spiritual practices: Meditation, inquiry into oneself, and contemplation of spiritual texts uncover the true self.
Intrinsic self-worth: The realization of our value as a part of the divine or universal consciousness creates a sense of stability in self-worth.
Virtuous living: In harmony with core virtues, it allows for an authentic expression of the true self and is rewarding in itself.
Integration of spiritual and psychological perspectives: The combination of spiritual views with psychological practices expands one’s understanding of the self as a whole, providing a balanced sense of self.
References
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