“Attachment is a unifying principle that reaches from the biological depths of our being to its furthest spiritual reaches.” ― Jeremy Holmes
Introduction | Attachment Theory | Types | Secure Attachment | Anxious-Avoidant Attachment | Anxious-Resistant Attachment | Disorganized-Disoriented Attachment | How To Change | Final Thoughts | Takeaway Points | References | Disclaimer
Introduction
Attachment is one of the four human basic needs. It forms in infancy and prevails throughout our lifetime. Parents and caregivers become the center elements that provide safety, security, and survival for the young children. The ways babies show their attachment can be "organized," like secure attachment, anxious-avoidant attachment, and anxious-resistant attachment, or "disorganized," like the disorganized-disoriented attachment pattern. All of these attachment styles play a role in the mental and emotional development of children and impact our ability to bond with others in adulthood.
The attachment theory
In the years 1969–1982, the psychiatrist John Bowlby developed the attachment theory.
In his book "Attachment and Loss", the author defines attachment as a "lasting psychological connectedness between human beings".
In his research, Bowbly explored the relationships between parents or caregivers and their offspring. He investigated the evolutionary context of attachment and linked it with primal survival instincts, where a caregiver is a figure that secures the survival of an infant. He also said that attachment is an instinctive mechanism that babies are naturally equipped with. Infants are pre-programmed to look for closeness with an adult to feel safe, especially during times of distress. Moreover, he observed that infants and young children can modulate their behavior in order to get the attention and care they require. Furthermore, Bowbly declared that at the age of 3 years, most children are able to substitute their primary attachment figure [e.g., a mother] for a subordinate attachment figure [e.g., a nursery school teacher].
The types of attachments
Mary Salter-Ainsworth, an American-Canadian developmental psychologist, created a classification of attachment patterns in infants using Bowbly's attachment theory and her own research. She identified three attachment patterns in very young children: the secure attachment, the anxious-avoidant attachment, and the anxious-resistant attachment. All of these attachment patterns were categorized as 'organized', which meant that they included predictable patterns of behavior and responses of babies towards their caregivers. However, this organization of attachment models left an unclassified group of attachment patterns that were more odd, atypical, erratic, and random in nature. Only some years later, Mary Main, an American psychologist, expanded the existing classification and created a fourth attachment model called the disorganized-disoriented attachment. It was referred to as 'disorganized' because it was opposed to the previously discussed 'organized' models of behavior.
Secure attachment
Secure attachment is an 'organized' type of attachment pattern and also the most common form of attachment. It is characterized by a sense of trust and security that a child develops toward their parents. It offers love and belonging, support, and comfort.
Childhood
Children who develop a secure attachment to their caregivers are able to build balanced relationships, develop healthily, and be happy and trusting. Furthermore, their relationship with their parents allows them to feel secure in moments of struggle and explore their surroundings when they feel comfortable. Secure attachment also builds confidence, self-worth, resilience, and adaptability.
Adulthood
Adult emotional well-being, the capacity to create and maintain healthy relationships, confidence, a sense of one's own worth, and assertiveness are all correlated with secure attachment. A person who had a secure attachment as a child can reflect on their past, form bonds with others, express affection, communicate their needs, and seek assistance when necessary.
Anxious-avoidant attachment
Anxious-avoidant attachment, also known as avoidant attachment or insecure-avoidant attachment, is another 'organized' attachment style. It is characterized by the rejecting, insensitive, ignoring, or ridiculing response of the caregiver towards a child and their needs. As a result, a minor who is treated this way during distress avoids contact with their parent because it does not provide security or a sense of stability.
Childhood
Children who, from an early age, experience an anxious-avoidant attachment find it difficult to form relationships with others and do not readily trust them. They separate from their caregivers emotionally and physically very quickly. The traits of this attachment style later in adolescence account for the challenging nature of the teen-parent relationship, which has an effect on mental, emotional, and family well-being.
Adulthood
The anxious-avoidant attachment pattern produces an independent, self-assured, and frequently career-driven adult who is aware of their value and does not need to rely on others for emotional support or reassurance. Such an adult has a lot of trouble forming deep, enduring relationships, though. They frequently find intimacy and closeness to be extremely uncomfortable. They have a propensity to emotionally isolate themselves from their partner.
Anxious-resistant attachment
Anxious-resistant attachment, also known as anxious attachment, ambivalent attachment, or insecure-resistant attachment, is also an 'organized' attachment pattern. It is developed when a child experiences an inconsistent parental response to their needs. The caregiver's responses can be emotionally accurate and supportive at times and completely out of sync with the child at other times. In order for the parent to see all the signs of distress, the child will exaggerate their emotions, have resistant reactions and tantrums, and become very angry.
Childhood
The anxious-resistant attachment style makes children more wary of unfamiliar people, places, and circumstances. They won't venture out into strange environments; they might avoid social situations; and they'll react to challenges and novel situations by exhibiting an elevated stress response. Furthermore, when they are separated from their caregiver, they often exaggerate their distress and act ambivalently when they are reunited.
Adulthood
With an anxious-resistant attachment style, an adult may experience low self-worth and self-esteem. They depend on hearing affirmations that they are valuable, loved, and good enough. Additionally, they struggle to build healthy relationships because of their fear of being abandoned and lonely, which can cause them to act overly jealous, clingy, and suspicious of their partner.
Disorganized-disoriented attachment
Disorganized-disoriented attachment, also known as disorganized attachment or fearful-avoidant attachment, is a 'disorganized' type of attachment pattern. Abuse inflicted on children, whether verbal, physical, or sexual, or an experience of traumatic events are linked to this insecure attachment style. In times of distress, the child cannot turn to the caregiver for support or avoid them in order to find a solution because the child associates the caregiver with a source of fear rather than security and comfort.
Childhood
Children who experience a disorganized attachment style from their primary caregiver do not trust or fear their parents. They quickly realize that they cannot fulfill their needs—both physical and emotional—through them. The actions of a child toward their parent are unpredictable. They may freeze or sit still for a while out of fear, and at other times they may try to find proximity with their parent but feel uneasy and upset at the same time.
Adulthood
The disorganized-disoriented attachment style produces adults who, on the one hand, want to belong and be in an intimate relationship but, on the other hand, are afraid to trust someone and to be hurt by them.
"These adults expect and are waiting for the rejection, disappointment, and hurt to come. In their perception, it is inevitable."[10]
They are rife with self-destructive tendencies that inevitably result in failure and disappointment. Additionally, this attachment style may make them more vulnerable to mental health issues like depression and addiction.
How do I change the insecure attachment style?
Studies have shown that children who experienced any of the three insecure attachment patterns were able to establish a secure attachment pattern when given time and opportunity. Furthermore, kids from abusive environments improved their ability to bond with and trust others once they were offered a secure attachment style in foster homes[8]. It does not mean that they erased their past experiences, but with the help of psychotherapy, they were able to work through their problems and learn to establish healthier bonds and build relationships.
In adults, anxious-resistant attachment and anxious-avoidant attachment very often stem from the continuous replication of parental behaviors through generations. Seeing your grandparents and then your parents repeat those same behaviors predisposes a person to follow the same path. However, as an adult, you have the power to change that. These attachment patterns can be corrected by learning [through therapy] how to mindfully and intentionally respond to our loved ones in a way that promotes trust, bonding, and security.
Lastly, one of the biggest challenges in overcoming a disorganized attachment pattern is working through the trauma of your childhood so that you can move forward and learn to trust people. It might require a great deal of effort and the help of a professional psychotherapist. The tempo and the improvements might be very slow and small in the beginning, but they bring you closer to healing.
Final Thoughts
Human physical, mental, and emotional development depends to a great extent on the immediate environment and our interactions with it. The first facilitators of infantile development are the parents and caregivers, who in principle are responsible for providing support, care, and security for their offspring. Based on that interaction and the type of attachment that forms between babies and their parents, we are able as a species to grow physically, mentally, and emotionally. Attachment is a fundamental, inborn, and natural need of the youngest members of the family that needs to be met to secure their survival. The style of attachment between infants and caregivers can be either secure and healthy or insecure and mentally distressing and challenging. Secure attachment is definitely considered the healthiest model for forming relationships and bonding with others. Anxious-avoidant attachment, anxious-resistant attachment, and disorganized-disoriented attachment are viewed as insecure and troublesome and pose health risks in terms of mental and emotional development.
Takeaway Points
John Bowbly developed the attachment theory, which gives a definition for this essential human need.
There are four attachment styles: the secure attachment, the anxious-avoidant attachment, the anxious-resistant attachment, and the disorganized-disoriented attachment.
These attachment patterns are classified either as 'organized' or 'disorganized'.
Most children in western populations have a secure attachment pattern.
Childhood interactions with caregivers have consequences for adulthood.
Attachment patterns can be corrected, but they need professional help.
References
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